Glastonbury Festival, 26-29 July 2008, Somerset

On 26 July 2008 The Lightyears mark their third outing to Worthy Farm, Somerset for the world famous festival of music and, more often than not, mud… The band will be playing the Green Fuse stage on Thursday night and the Small World Stage on Friday evening. Look for the band at the Sing Up tent as well during the weekend, as well as in the Guardian Tent for a live webcast. Full details available here.

Del Boy’s Funeral

Today I spent the day as a ‘supporting artist’ for my good friends Idiots of Ants, who were beginning ten days shooting for a collection of comedy sketches to be shown on E4 this August. Idiots of Ants are Ben Wilson, Elliott Tiney, James Wrighton and Andy Spears – most of whom I went to university with.

I remember a conversation I had with James when they first formed about 18 months ago, talking about the parallels between comedy and music. Having spent a number of years working as jobbing actors and putting up with the endless frustrations associated with it, I think part of the impetus for the guys was to have a little more control over their careers.

It’s something I’ve seen a number of my actor friends do to cope with the frustration of an overcrowded industry and, whilst comedy obviously won’t work for everyone, those who can do it and are so inclined at the very least get the satisfaction of writing their own material and booking their own gigs on their own terms. But, as with the music industry, the big challenge is to translate that passion and personal drive into something sustainable – something that can fulfill you and also make you money.

In that sense Idiots of Ants are in a very strong position. They were the darlings of last year’s Edinburgh Fringe, selling out every one of their shows on the Pleasance Courtyard. Tickets are already on sale for this year’s run (also on the Pleasance Courtyard, at 6.20pm daily) and are available here. This year they’ve been featured on BBC’s The Wall as well as on Radio 4’s Loose Ends. Recently, their sketch Facebloke notched up more than a million views on YouTube.

So, my day today was spent firstly in a pub in Stockwell filming reactions to the death of one Del Boy, who died tragically after falling through the hole in the bar and smashing his head on an ice machine. The scene featured outstanding beard acting from Jimmy as Uncle Albert.

This afternoon we were at a house filming a fancy dress party where all the guests have come in suits (as assassins, waiters, Blues Brothers, undertakers etc) – all except for Elliot…

Today’s sketches, together with five or six others can be seen on E4 as part of Funny Cuts in August.

In the meantime, here’s Facebloke:

Grovestock Festival – London – 14/06/08

How was it for us?

This was our second year at Grovestock, Grove Park’s very own mini music festival. The weather held out, thankfully, and hundreds of people turned up. Grovestock is quintessentially English and they usually get some pretty quirky acts in – this year, for example, they had the baffling cabaret singer Ivana von Trapposki sharing a stage with Radio 1’s Mike Reid, who was hosting the pop quiz. We played two half-hour sets, including an acoustic set (Fine, Home For The Weekend, Girl On The Radio and This House Will Burn), some rockier numbers (She’s The One, Beat Alive, Banana Republic, Emily etc) and a few covers too. Near the end of our first set the power cut out across the whole of Chiswick and the stage fell silent. Luckily we had Gimme Some up our sleeves and were able to come out from behind our instruments, usher the audience right up to the stage and serenade them a capella style. By the time we were finished, the power was back. Seamless.

Chris Lightyear

How was it for you?

Were you there? Got an opinion? Want to write a review? Hit the comments box at the foot of the page.

Gig Details

Tickets are no longer on sale for this event.

Dubai. Apparently not just one huge airport.

We are at Dubai airport, waiting for our connecting flight to Gatwick. I appear to have lost the rest of the band. There are rather a lot of people here, most of them sleeping. It is 4am. Technically speaking. Danny has gone to buy a shisha pipe. My eyebrows feel weird. 

I am experiencing that disarmingly euphoric jetlag hangover that you get when you fly long-haul and end up spending a string of lost hours in some distant airport waiting for a connecting flight. I have no idea whether I am still drunk or not. I have also watched too many poorly-executed rom-coms on the plane and I fear that this may have damaged my ability to interact with normal human beings. I know, I know, I only have myself to blame for that. It’s the airline food. The chemicals compromise my sense of taste. 

When we arrived in the Middle East about an hour ago, Tony informed us that he’d just received a text message from our Irish cohorts Fred The Band offering us a last-minute gig in Cork. This Friday. Could it be done? Would it in fact make more sense just to stay here and connect straight to Ireland instead of London? Perhaps not. Mustn’t submit to delirium.  

Incidentally, this is my 8th trip to Dubai and I have never once stepped outside the airport. Perhaps I am missing something. Allegedly there’s a whole city outside. Jury’s still out for me on that one.

The Korean Tour has been a resounding success, notwithstanding the fact that we once again failed to eat any dog whatsoever. Unless that funny-looking sausage on the plane wasn’t in fact veal as the menu claimed. You can never be too sure.

Chris Lightyear

I’m in Seoul but I’m not a soldier

I have just woken up. It is 4.30pm.

Last night was a good night. A very good night indeed. 

It began onstage at 8pm and ended in a jacuzzi at 8am. Just as all great nights out should. 

Let me talk you through it step-by-step……

8pm, Grand Hyatt Hotel
I am onstage, sat at a grand piano. The enormous stage has been immaculately set to emulate the opening scene from Phantom Of The Opera. The MC, dressed in trilby, half-mask, cloak and tails, stands behind me. Seunghee Park, one of Asia’s foremost opera singers, stands centre stage. I am playing the Korean national anthem, and Seunghee is singing. 500 people are singing back. One of them is the British Ambassador.

Is this a dream? No. This is my life. This is just the kind of wackiness I get up to all the time.

9.30pm, Grand Hyatt Hotel
…And, as if to prove a point, here I am again, sat at the grand piano – this time dressed as the Phantom myself – entertaining the guests with my trademark lounge renditions of popular tracks by Metallica and Rage Against The Machine. I don’t think anyone has noticed. It sounds just like jazz! That’s the clever thing! It’s the Trojan Horse of the music world. Metal dressed as jazz. 

That reminds me of a story Hugh Padgham told us about how he used to smuggle ham sandwiches into Paul McCartney’s house when they were working on McCartney’s Press To Play album. Paul and Linda, as you can imagine, were pretty strict on enforcing their no-meat rule but the carnivores got away with it by making cheese sandwiches, hollowing out the middle and filling them with ham! Genius. Paul, if you’re reading this, you’ve been hoodwinked mate. 

Anyhow, I digress. Metal-filled jazz sandwiches, Phantom Of The Opera, grand piano. So, this goes on for a while and then I slink off backstage to join the rest of the boys and make sure they haven’t caned all the booze whilst I’ve been working.

10.30pm, Grand Hyatt Hotel
We hit the stage about an hour ago and this place is cooking! Due to the music starting late on in the evening, all 500 guests were pretty sozzled by the time we started and were absolutely gagging to get on the dancefloor. We’ve chucked out a mix of Lightyears songs and covers and the dancefloor has been full all night.

Possibly my favourite moment of the evening, though, is when we drop the pace about half an hour from the end and play Miles Away. Everyone grabs a partner and we play the song slowly, with real patience. We don’t generally use this song as a “dance” number but it really works. Magic.  

We encore with Emily, which has been requested by five or six people on separate occasions, and can’t resist ending the evening on a slightly tailored version of The Killers’ All These Things That I’ve Done, featuring the immortal line “I’m in Seoul but I’m not a soldier”. Bit of political satire there. Brought the house down.

So. Job well done. Next stop – PartyVille.

2.30am, Spy Basement
We are in Spy Basement. How did this happen?

Yet again, for the third time in as many years, here we are. Seoul’s seediest club. A haven for prostitutes and sexually-frustrated American soldiers. John is being chatted up by a man. I am standing at the bar trying to work out how five beers could possibly come to £35. Danny and Tony are having it large on the dancefloor. George is looking nonchalant in his suit, sipping a beer and trying to divine whether the girl talking loudly at him is an escort or a legitimately interested groupie. 

Actually, Spy Basement turns out to be a lot of fun. Dressed in matching suits and surrounded by a sizeable entourage, we look at bit like the Reservoir Dogs and as a result are attracting quite a bit of attention from the revellers (although it’s possible that most people just think we’re pretentious bankers).

We stay in the Basement for an indeterminate amount of time. Beers are downed, dances are danced, merriment is made. Hours pass.

6am, Hooker Hill
It is 6am. We are, apparently, on “Hooker Hill”. I have no solid recollection of how we got here.

Hooker Hill does exactly what it says on the tin. No further explanation needed. It’s a pretty steep hill as well, which is a challenge in itself at 6 in the morning after a few sherbets. 

Tony is on absolutely blistering form. I have never seen him this up for it. We broach the idea of going home; he’s having none of it. In fact, before we’ve even had a chance to hit the taxi he’s already crossed our palms with another round of beers. What a legend. This keeps us going for another hour or so but eventually, at about 7am, John, Danny and I throw in the towel. Tony and George, however, have officially locked horns in a fight to the death and neither one wants to lose face – the first one to stop drinking and start sleeping loses. We leave them outside the still-pumping Debut Bar with the expectation that we might not see them again for several days and jump in a cab back to Insadong.

8am, Jacuzzi, Somerset Palace
In theory, the evening ended when we left Hooker Hill. In actuality, there were still over two hours of life left in us. When we got back home to Somerset Palace there was a massive anti-US beef protest going on outside our hotel (see the BBC News 24 pictures here). Hundreds of Koreans had turned out. Can you imagine Londoners rioting at 7am on a Sunday morning? Bizarre. Anyhow, we spent some time chilling with the rioters before heading up to breakfast, still dressed in our suits, chowing down on some seriously tasty pastries and then whipping on our trunks and hitting the jacuzzi. This is the only way to end an evening. I say “evening”; it was in fact most emphatically the morning and the sun was shining furiously.

We eventually crashed into bed at 9.30am. Tony and George followed half an hour later. The tour was nearly done and so were we.

Lightyears over and out. See you back in Blighty. 

Chris Lightyear

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