Always say no to strangers

Saturday 11 November, 8.15am (NYU Dorms, Manhattan, New York): Ooh… arghuihr. Dull throbbing. Eels? Ate an eel. Why? Hmm. Some kind of potent Japanese alcohol. Half of me is on an air bed. The other half is on hard floor. Erm. New York! That’s it. Oh jeez, radio interview! Today! In New Jersey! Go Team Lightyears! Eghuisdpolk. Perhaps not yet. Wait for throbbing to subside. Then go. Never eating eel again. Saturday 11 November, 12.15pm (LYs US HQ, Riverton, New Jersey): Thankfully, the 2-hour train journey from New York proved to be enough to gently coerce us back into a respectable state. ...

Sandwich-ageddon in the Big Apple

Thursday 9 November, 12.30pm (Outside a deli, Manhattan, New York): Sitting on a plate in front of me is a sandwich that’s going to change my life. I mean, I’ve had some pretty momentous things happen to me in my time – my first word, Cub Scout initiation, house burning down etc – but I really do feel like this is it. The motherload. Most people criticise Americans for being a tad on the large side. But if their on-average mightier girth contributes to the continued existence of sandwiches like this, then by George I applaud them for it. OK, ...

“Fresh from London, Finland – The Lightyears!”

Wednesday 8 November, 10.30am (LYs US Residence, Riverton, New Jersey): I am sitting in front of a plate of Heinz Baked Beans on toast and a steaming hot cup of milky tea. It’s so English I could almost be in Chesham, or Little Todding. However, I am in fact in the god-dang ho-diggity United States Of America! Yee-haw. And all that. To my astonishment, we arrived last night in one piece with all our instruments and bags intact. Our US tour manager Jon Clifton met us at Newark and drove us back along the legendary New Jersey Turnpike to his ...

“Is that a home-made pipe bomb in my pocket or am I just pleased to see you?”

Monday 6 November, 4.45pm (TK Maxx Clothes Outlet, Clapham): I am in TK Maxx in Clapham Junction. Where all the rock stars hang out. There is an extremely valid reason for me to be in here, namely that I am searching for an appropriate travel bag to carry my sound module (the flashing box that stands next to me at gigs) to the United States Of America for our upcoming tour. To my astonishment, it doesn’t take me that long to find the perfect bag for the job – I mean, it’s absolutely ideal. It’s exactly the right size ...